Fiery Trials

Unit 02 (choice #4)
Lesson 05

7 months ago I had life pretty much figured out... or so I thought. I was newly married, living in the perfect apartment, with the perfect job, and with the perfect life. My husband and I would go on long bike rides, rock climb, and do pretty much whatever we wanted. 

It was, in short, perfect. 

I wasn't naive enough to imagine my life would stay that way forever, but "surely" I thought, "Surely, Heavenly Father will give me a small break after all the years and months of blood, sweat, and tears that I had put into my mission as well as getting married." Ha! President Uchtdorf once said something that I'd like to interject, "We make plans... and God laughs." Looking back now, I even laugh at myself for thinking such a ridiculous thought!

But why? Why is that thought so absurd and ridiculous and blinded and, and... hilarious? Why didn't Heavenly Father give me a break from my trials, sorrow, and heartache? There I was this little girl who had finally convinced her dad to buy her the toy she most desperately wanted... only to get home and realize the batteries weren't included. It was so seemingly unfair.

I was living quite literally the very words that Peter taught to the saints, "Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:" (1 Peter 4:12)

Don't you love how matter of fact Peter is in that verse? It's as if he is saying with amazement, "why are you so confused?? Trials are part of life! Don't you know that?"

Although, it was that very thought, trials are part of life, that made me scared and hope that I wouldn't have anymore. Does that mean that I will never have peace? Will I live my whole life worried about "what trial is coming next"? Will I ever be happy?

It seemed like not very long until things started to crumble. We were getting kicked out of our apartment because our landlord was selling his contract, we found out that Criag's mother was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, Craig lost his job, I had to work full time and do school full time to support us and graduate, people at my job were becoming increasingly more difficult to work with, and I was feeling completely alone.

It felt as if not only did my "toy" not come with batteries, but it was completely self destructing right before my eyes.

It took everything I had to keep my head above water. It was that terrifying sensation that if I stop moving, I'm going to drowned.

It was during this time that I was reminded of the popular verse in Alma, when he is talking to the people in Gideon and is teaching them about Jesus Christ and his atonement. 

Alma 7:11-12
"And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bid his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to his infirmities."

I know at some point you have probably heard the definition of the word succor which means "to run to the aid of" but there is a part of the definition that is often left out and that is, "to run to the aid of... as if you were drowning" 

Christ didn't just come skippering over to me as I was wallowing in self pity. I feel like that is sometimes how people see that scripture, "I didn't want to do it for myself so Christ had to come help me...." as if we put up a tent of wallow and gloom and camp out in our pitiful situations, not moving until he comes and rescues us.

No, when Alma says succor it means that we are physically, emotionally, and mentally drowning. That's how it felt, metaphorically "do or die". We are doing everything possible to stay a float but it's not enough, we need help.

I love the verse in 1 Peter 4:13, it's the one right after Peter talks about fiery trials, he says, "But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy." 

Going back to what I said earlier about trials being part of life... and wondering if that means we will never have peace or happiness. To answer; yes, of course we will! Trials are meant to make us stronger, and to be difficult, but we are not left alone because Christ does succor us. We become partakers of Christ's sufferings and that is when his glory is revealed.

Even though all of these trials were difficult, Christ strengthened both my husband and I through it. Not only that, but a lot of them ended up being not as bad as we had anticipated. We ended up not getting kicked out of our apartment, Craig's mother has her last chemo treatment this week and has been incredibly strong, Craig received a great job offer at Ford in Michigan starting in June, and I have been able to work and do school without much difficulty.

Yes, trials come, but Christ won't allow us to drown.